Absquatulate

Super Bowl Ads Suck

So I'm 1.5 quarters late, and I wasn't planning on blogging the Super Bowl, but a) the boy convinced me to and b) I just saw a commercial wherein a pretty dancer (I'm sure she's famous but I'm very ignorant of popular culture) is dancing to "Thriller" with ANIMATED GECKO LIZARDS. Could you imagine that conversation between this dancer and her agent??? "But it'll be with HIGH-TECH animated lizards!" God.

So, updates as the game progresses, and as I work my way through a pint of Slippery Slope from the People's Pint.

• ER, OKAY. Maybe I shouldn't blog, as Brady has been sacked TWICE since I started this entry.
• By the way, I love Bruschi. You should too.
• You know, ever since I got a massage and a soak in a hot tub in December I have this one muscle just below my scapula, just along my spine, that drives me nuts. I don't know HOW a massage and a hot tub soak could have irritated it, but I distinctly remember coming home afterwards and thinking, "Hm, that is uncomfortable." It's been over a month what should I do (Kat?)
• Right, back to the game. Hey! There's a game on! The half time is very soon, which means I'll get to eat Antonio's pizza very soon.
• Illegal bat forward? I'll take it.
• Have I mentioned how much I hate Joe Buck?
• Chronicles of Narnia, haven't I seen this movie before?
• Charles Barkley == Joy C., Michael Jordan == Mandy S. (nee F.). Just so you know
• Oh Joy! Another Commercial Break!
• And we're back, despite a viewer written Dorito's commercial (which wasn't bad) and Justin Timberlake (whom I kind of like.)
• The boy is very frustrated by one-point perspective. Does anybody know where the "station point" should be?
• WHEEE first down, YES
• Where has Randy Moss been this game???
• Damn, gotta give props to the Giants for prepping so well. Well done.
• BREATHE: they are advertising NASCAR during the Super Bowl.
• You know, it is lame when I've seen commercials during the Super Bowl 2-3 weeks ago. Hence the title of this post.
• I could care LESS about modern Tom Petty.
• The t.v. was wheeled into the kitchen and we got to eat while watching the game, an unheard of event until New England went to the Super Bowl for the first time. In the weeks before the game I go shopping with my mother at Apex (or was it Zayre's? I'm pretty sure it's Apex) and she lets me pick out a Super Bowl XX Painter's Cap to wear for the big game (and to 4th grade). It is 1986 and we are eating Chinese food, I only remember the Lo-Mein. I watch as Refigerator Perry plows through the Patriots and they lose magnificently. I am not a Red Sox fan at the time and my family is not a baseball family, so this is crushing, in that first generation sort of way. The cap lives in the bottom of the laundry basket in the coat closet for years until my mother presumably weeds through the singleton mittens and scarves and gets rid of it. I wish I still had it.
• I suspect that Ryan Seacrest is a genius. A short, handsome genius.
• Oh heavens, here we go, Tom Petty.
• I kind of hate the field fans.
• Oh god, he's wearing an ascot-tie combo!!!
• Does Tom Petty have fused vertebra?
• The audio feed is supremely underwhelming for what could be a great song. Way to restrain it Fox News Sound Engineers! Gah.
• The thing is, since Janet, there is nothing, NOTHING interesting that could possibly happen this show. And that makes me give less than a crap about the performance, because I call up the songs on iTunes and be just as satisfied.
• Joe Buck, I hate you and your fake hair and your fake gray streak.
• I think this is the People's Pint talking, but I think N.E. ushered in the modern eara of football. When in 2001, as I clung to the only fellow New Englander in the room in Rochester, NY, the Pats were introduced as a TEAM, I knew something new was being created.
• Nice challenge N.E. Very nice challenge indeed; calling the Giants on the extra man on the field.
• Okay, It's past half-time and STILL NO PIZZA.
• I understand that desperate times call for desperate measures, but GO FOR THE DAMNED FIELD GOAL. AAAAAHHHH.
• Hey Fox, kiss my grits with you and your "wah wah wahhhhh" music at that break.
• EEEE Wall-e commercial! Adorable!
• Okay, to heck with this, time to warm up the oven.
• Have there been any completions to Moss this game? Mulroney seems to be the workhorse this game.
• eating.
• AAAAAAAAAH Moss!!!! You should have had that for 13-10 at least!!!
• Also: it takes forever for me to eat.
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!
• While, obviously, I really want the Pats to win, both teams have played really really hard this game, and can't really blame either for winning.
• I am sitting next to a fair-weather fan, and it's driving me batshit.
• Oh my GOD FOX, you have opera playing at the commercial break? Just.. I.... argh...
• "Did they advertise American Idol during the World Series?" "Probably not, well maybe they did, I'm sure they advertised whatever was on." Well said.
• OMG COME ON DEFENSE!!!!!!!!!!
• AAAAAAAAAAAH they're in. qow3ur9q83245ruiihgjriqo9485r7q2394875!
• Going to crawl into a HOLE NOW DEAR GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU SACK THAT MANNING ARGH!
• "Where's my bat?" Oh boy.
• All in all, the Giants played this game like they wanted it. I cannot say the same for the Pats.
• And there's the touchdown.
• ALRIGHT Brady and Moss.... Let's see some of this magic. Now would be a GREAT time to bring that out.
• And Brady is sacked. Great.
• Well, that is that. The Giants played a great game and deserve the win. Well done.

Let's Just See What Happens

Infamous last words, yes?

This morning, after getting up obscenely early to run to a local beach to see the eclipse, only to be disappointed by the haze and the sunrise, we debated what to do with our day. Cape Cod has been gorgeous since we arrived and there were just too many options!

Well, what should we do? I don't know, what do you want to do? Well, we could go for a ride, we could go kayaking, we could drive around a bit or go swimming. Hm, kayaking would be nice... and we really want to go for a ride too. Let's do that!

The plan was... well, there was no plan really except to head south. We started out and decided to get to West Falmouth and see how we feel (and how the gimpy knee felt.) We just meandered down roads, relying on the sun to assure us that we were heading the right way, going down private roads and finding hidden beaches. Before we knew it we were beyond West Falmouth. A quick consultation with a gatekeeper at a 'closed' community we decided to push on to Falmouth for lunch.

We ate ridiculously good omlettes at a diner, strolled the street of Falmouth, made fun (and admired) art for sale in the storefronts, and made our way back. All in all, it was a 25 mile day, by far the longest ride I've done in a very long time. Thankfully karate really does up your stamina, otherwise I would have been toast. I'd have made it but it would have been more painful than it was (it hardly was, just a little tight now.) I'm tired and it's only 8pm. I'm not sure I'll make it to 9, and that's okay by me.

Pictures are forthcoming; forgot my connector cable at home, so until I return you're stuck with my witty prose and screenshots.

Outdoorswoman in the Making

At the top of Bubble Mountain in Acadia there were dozens of people milling about with babies, doggies, flocks of kids and fannypacks. Overheard while Fraz and I were taking pictures of each other at the top of our conquest:

13-or-so Year Old Girl: "Why to people do this?"
Mom: "For the views."
Girl: "Oh."
Mom: "And the solitude."

This represents approximately 20% of the total number of people on the top of the mountain.

Shotokan, representin'.

Shotokan, representin'.
Originally uploaded by absquatulate.

Get better soon, Christina!

I passed.

Orange Belts
Originally uploaded by absquatulate.

As a matter of fact, we all passed. Everyone in the club went up a rank, and the awesome Miss Clausen went up TWO because she's got a super secret green belt in another style and completely kicks all sorts of ass :)

And to boot, I passed with flying colors. While I still have so many many things to work on, it's nice to see I'm making progress.

Speaking of passing and progress, today I had my last exam of my master's career. Tomorrow I hand in my last project, and a ton of paperwork. It's all so close I can taste it.

Shotokan Karate

I had my first belt test today in the campus center ballroom at UMass. A handful of diehard fans (read: family!) came to watch 30 or so of us take our respective tests, do alot of lunging about, and generally do alot of yelling. What was frustrating was that Sensei Grimes is a softspoken woman, and the room was very large and there were welcome, yet loud fans in the corners making almost everything impossible to hear.

Four hours later and it was done. My portion of the test only took about 3 minutes top, but there was practice beforehand and much watching of the higher belts doing their thing. Much of it looked really really cool. Afterwards we invited the folks from Brown and UMaine-Orono for dinner at ABCs. The camaraderie was high, everyone was in good spirits on this sunny spring day, and we all enjoyed a beer and a turkey burger. :) Hopefully this week there is a yellow belt in my future, and a whole summer to practice heian nidan and heian shodan.

I'm really hoping Christina will send me photos that Trina took during our test! (*hint hint*!)

Everyone, please go the f*ck away

I have precious few things in my life that could be considered leisurely.  This is also the first time in almost three years that I've had any leisure time at all to speak of.  I guard it with precious ferocity, schedule it along with homework sessions and my drive to Worcester, and plan on doing karate even when everything else seems to be going to pot (mostly because I am tired of living, breathing, and sleeping speech-language pathology.)  So the precious two hours a week I put aside for the karate classes at the UMass gym are jealously guarded.

I pay lots of money in fees to this univeristy, fees that I can't get waived or get financial aid to think about because well they're FEES not TUITION, to have access to some of the clubs on campus.  Mind you, I've had NO TIME during my tenure here up until this semester to even take advantage of them, and so I feel an extra sort of snootiness about it: UMass has made alot of money off my student activities fee that I never used for three semesters (and I don't even know what the money goes towards.  Grad students still have to PAY to get into sporting events. Wha??)  And with an indignant huff I feel entitled.

When I come home from a long day in Worcester where I pay for the privledge to work in a hospital, or a long day working in the lab then sitting through classes, I want to be able to drive to the gym on the other side of campus, park, and take the fucking karate class.  End of story.  And when I have to spend 15 minutes driving circles through campus trying to find parking I tend to get a little testy.

Usually parking isn't a problem, that is, until there's a basketball game.  Or a hockey game.  And when there's a sporting event going on, a sporting event taking place at a Division I school, everyone turns out.  Freshman, seniors, alumni, and the general public, and it drives me batshit.  Absolute batshit.  I spit at the sight of Lexii SUVs driving around the parking lots with a 60-something couple squinting at the last spot in the lot.  I fume at the tailgaters (!) chugging beer as they make their way to the gym.  I think horrible obscene thoughts as I see them, these visitors, taking away any and all hope of getting any parking anywhere within a half-mile radius of my stupid, little karate class; one of the few things that is keeping me sane until I graduate.

All of you, all of you people taking away parking from those of us who pay to go to this university to study something: go away.  I pay for this goddammed campus and I want to use it.

Come on Pats!

Here we go kids! Let's go Pats, lets make it four championships this decade!

Update: Oh my freaking god. Could a game go any closer than that really? What a game, thank goodness the Pats turned up the intensity in this last quarter. Sweet Moses.

The Fast Lane

Observations made when riding my bike to and from campus today:

 

• It's really been three years since I've ridden a bike and my thighs, used to walking and running, know this.
• I am way out of shape.
• I really need to fix my tire. It's got a bump in it, and I thought it would even out on the ride, but it didn't. *%$#@!
• Said bump in tire while going down Main St. at 20 MPH required riding the brakes all the way down.  I was afraid of a kathunk with the tire coinciding with sand, a pebble, or a stray puff of wind that it would make me hamburger meat.
• I look ridiculous in a helmet with short hair, but I'd rather not chance not wearing one.
• Riding a bike with a 15lb. backpack sure does change your center of gravity.
• Especially when you're going up hill.

 

A Short Prayer

In this case, thank you Lord for inventing spandex.

Holy Crap.

I can't believe I just saw the Red Sox win a World Series.

What's even more incredible, I can't believe I'm up at midnight after watching a baseball game!!!!

(I blame the hockey lockout.)

Already one class has been cancelled tomorrow and I hear the helicopters whirling overhead as I type (but no sirens). I poked my head out the window and half a block away I heard the whoops and hollers of BoSox fans after a night of hard drinking and even harder praying.

And as all this is going on, the lunar eclipse had just peaked.

Spooky.

Congrats to all the diehard Boston Red Sox fans. I can't cound myself among you necessarily, but I am a New Englander by birthright, and so I feel I can share in a little bit of your celebration.

Life Imitates Art?

The first time I'd ever heard of the Albuquerque Isotopes was in the Simpson's Hungry Hungry Homer episode when Homer finds out Duff is trying to sell the team to Albuquerque. A friend pointed me to this article about a couple who visited all major and minor league baseball parks, and lo and behold, the Albuquerque Isotopes were on their list.

!!!

A quick search confirms that the Simpson's episode aired March 04 2001, the team was sold to Albuquerque from Calgary in May of 2001 with the deal beginning in January of that year. Another quick search on snpp.com (bless those folks) confirms that there was an article on 06/01/01 by a local affiliate in Albuquerque about the merchandisers pushing the name (unfortunately the article is no longer on their site.)

Since the Simpsons had been using the Springfield Isotopes team name for a long while one would assume that the Simpsons gave the team buyers the idea for the name, but there's the tricky question of the timing of the Hungry Hungry Homer episode and the pending approval of the team's move to Albuquerque. Could it be possible that the buyers of the team and FOX sat down and agreed to do an episode about the possibility of moving the team to Albuquerque (even though eventually they stayed in Springfield, whereas the real team moved?) Conspiracy theorists, do your stuff!

BTW confidential to Rozzie: you could do SUCH a cool logo for these guys. What they have now is kind of lame.

Corporate Challenge, indeed.

Because I felt that I wasn't doing ENOUGH for my company, I decided to participate in the Chase Corporate Challenge 5k run last night (click for pictures). You know, because somehow running by yourself for 3.5 miles is a company event. Oh wait, it's the beer and sausages afterwards that make it a company event. Anyway, I was stoked for the race. I am not a competitive runner, but according to the treadmill at the gym I could cruise through three miles at a 8.5 min/mile pace.

At least, as of a month ago I could. Then for one reason or another, the hubby and I got slack in our gym going routine. It was much nicer to sleep in on the cool, sunny spring mornings than haul our ass out of bed at the crack of dawn and watch the birth of a new day from the treadmill next to an octogenarian snorting his way through his morning walk.

Regardless, I've discovered that making progress running on a treadmill is quite different from making progress running on concrete. To my credit I didn't stop once during the entire race and I ran an "official'" 10 min/mile.

I say "official" because they time everyone from the starting gun. But what ends up happening is that since there were about 9868 people waiting to run down a two lane road there is the inevitable lag. I think I ended up waiting at least 3, if not four minutes before even crossing the starting line (I didn't have a watch with me, drat.) So while my official time was 35:35 (maybe I should play the lotto?) I think my actual time was more like 31:35 or so.

Chuffed? You bet I am. And I know I owe some of that time to a woman with short hair, pigtails, and a blue shirt who, at the two minute mile, corrected the timekeeper with the megaphone. The official yelled "22 minutes!" and that woman yelled back, "Eighteen and a half by my watch! We really ARE the 9 minute milers!" to which everyone cheered (we all started in the group marked for 9 min. mile runners.) After that I was determined to keep pace with her since I didn't have a running partner.

And we did, through the torrential downpours that had started about 20 minutes before the race and ended about 20 minutes AFTER. And on the last stretch, the last 200m or so, she started to put wood on the fire. At this point I had a stitch in my side, was having a harder time breathing, and could barely see anything with all the rain and sweat in my eyes, but I decided to dig down REALLY deep and race with her. And the both of us were in full sprints crossing the finish line the the few cheers of, "YEAH that's how you finish a race ladies!!!" I never did get the chance to thank her for putting up a fantastic finish and inspiring me to do the same.

So thanks blue shirted gal with the short hair, ponytails, and a watch.

My mistake of the night was scarfing down a hotdog AND a hamburger after the race. UGH, I'm still digesting that this morning. Let that be a lesson for you.

*Whew*

I think I speak for every Patriots fan out there with the title of this post. There is no more bringing up the "Tuck Rule". No more questions. This is, indeed, a great team. And Carolina gave them an amazing run for their money. Well played, gents, and here's to next year!

Go Pats!!!

I've been so busy with other offline super-secret projects that I've barely had time to think about the Patriots and their bid for glory. So here's my obligatory OMG GO PATS post.

OMG GO PATS!!!

That is all.

George Bailey 5K

Rochester is one of those cities that, well, just has a weird sense of place. Not as weird as San Francisco; we're more SanFran Lite. So things like this little event just tickle my fancy. The George Bailey 5k is a, well, it's not really a race, and it's not even 5k, it's more of just an fun goofy excuse for folks to dress up like George Bailey and recreate his famous "Merry Christmas" run through Bedford Falls and raise some money for charitable organizations. It runs through our neighborhood and this year I think I'll convince Piggy to at least go out and cheer them on, if not actually participate. If it's not snowy, I'll totally dress like Mary and run in heels!

Update: I just found this quicktime movie of a newscast of an earlier GB5K. You know it's good TV when the reporter can barely keep a straight face.