Absquatulate

A&P

A longtime and very dear of mine just edited and released her very first photo animation and I think it's fantastic (I am also quite partial, but don't let that dissuade you.)

The one where she goes to the A&P from get it yourself on Vimeo.

Oscars 2008: The Boredoming

Oh yes, it's time. To be continually updated until I give up.

• Helen Mirren, LOVE your dress! Love love love!
• Cameron Diaz? Wow, what has shee been up to lately!?
• Cate! What is up with that dress? And your arms? OH! You're pregnant! Now I got it.
• I think that's MCM behind Johnny Depp!!!!
• Jennifer Hudson: Just because you got it, don't mean you should flaunt it. Whoo.
• If Clive Owen and Russel Crowe had a love child it would be Javier Bardem.
• Kerri Russel looks better as she gets older.
• Owen Wilson! Wow. Good for him!
• Oh Phillipe, don't apologize for not speaking English! Indeed, I think he should do his speech in French.
• Supporting actress: Cate Cate Cate!!! Drat, but still yay for Tilda too! She is her own style. Period.
• I STILL don't believe in Hannah Montana.
• Do you feel like the Coen Bros. are only there because they have to be? And that's not a bad thing.
• We don't really CARE about the Oscars inner workings. Ugh.
• Is Enchanted the ONLY musical movie that came out this year?
• Leading Actress: I LOVE how excited Cate Blanchett is for people who win in her categories! I haven't seen La Vie En Rose, but I've heard it is fantastic. I love how excited she is!
• God! Jack Nicholson has had work done too right? Why is he SO creepy? I don't think he can be just a regular guy.
• Renee Zellweger looks consistently pinched. Like she has a lemon up her tuchus.
• HOLY sweet mice, the ice this year is unbelievable. It's about long strands of diamonds over simple dresses. Nicole looks great, and almost human, now that she's expecting.
• When one becomes over 75, you can totally wear a white scarf with your tux. And have the longest thank you speech of the night.
• Okay, Oscar dress designers, enough with the feathered boobs.
• YAY! I'm glad "Once" won for best song, up against Disney or whatever Enchanted was. AWW she didn't get to say anything? Lame. Of all people the orchestra should have given them just a little more time.
• OH, did Jon really have her come back out???!?!?!? GOOD for them, GOOD for her! I'm glad they did the right thing.
• The Oscar set design looks like those pillars/pistons in Portal (guess what I played ALL day today?).
• Boy, this show is a snooze.
• AAAAAH, HERE is the troops portion of the show. I think I'm done with the Oscars tonight. Boring boring boring.
• You know, I feel like that the Oscars are really for the people who make the quiet magic: documentary filmmakers, special effects artists, etc, who aren't rich and aren't famous but do what they love. Best actress, but if I could watch a whole night of people who really were happy to win, that would be great.
• Diablo Cody??? Her look absolutely matches her name. And WHOA what a tat there.
• I'm done. I can't even stay up for Best Picture I could care so little. AND, I hate that Robert Plant and Alison Krauss are schilling for JCPenny. SusanW. has got the rest of the night covered on Twitter I think. Goodnight and thank you to the Academy!
• Wait, you have to know this: "Heidi Klum, isn't that the prostitute?" "..... WHAT?" "That woman, in LA? With the famous clients?" "That's Heidi Fleiss you're thinking of." "Oh."

For Corey

Dinner tonight was what I have come to call a "French Mess": two eggs scrambled with sauteed diced red peppers, chopped fresh herbs, and cubes of brie cheese melted on top. Accompanied by water crackers, a cup of tea kindly provided by Niss that was *AMAZING*, and chased by two teaspoons of cough medicine laced with codine, it was just the perfect dinner for the night.

It is 9pm, I'm off to bed.

Things I Do Not Believe In

A post wherein I spell out my inevitible slide into the AARP:

• Headbands for infant girls
• Baby Einstein
• Children's menus
• Low-fat cheese
• "Ground effects" for cars
• Video games for children under the age of 4
• Budweiser beer
• Naming someone "Dakota"
• Hockey teams south the Mason-Dixon line
• Nascar north of the Mason-Dixon line, with exceptions made for the Indy 500 and Detroit
• Passenger cars that get less than 25 miles to the gallon
• Flashing your highbeams to pass someone in the left lane
• Shootouts in hockey
• Cannoli filled with anything but sweetened ricotta
• Hannah Montana

KONZUK

I'm in love with these rings made from titanium, stainless steel, and yes, concrete!  Check them out at: KONZUK.

Super Bowl Ads Suck

So I'm 1.5 quarters late, and I wasn't planning on blogging the Super Bowl, but a) the boy convinced me to and b) I just saw a commercial wherein a pretty dancer (I'm sure she's famous but I'm very ignorant of popular culture) is dancing to "Thriller" with ANIMATED GECKO LIZARDS. Could you imagine that conversation between this dancer and her agent??? "But it'll be with HIGH-TECH animated lizards!" God.

So, updates as the game progresses, and as I work my way through a pint of Slippery Slope from the People's Pint.

• ER, OKAY. Maybe I shouldn't blog, as Brady has been sacked TWICE since I started this entry.
• By the way, I love Bruschi. You should too.
• You know, ever since I got a massage and a soak in a hot tub in December I have this one muscle just below my scapula, just along my spine, that drives me nuts. I don't know HOW a massage and a hot tub soak could have irritated it, but I distinctly remember coming home afterwards and thinking, "Hm, that is uncomfortable." It's been over a month what should I do (Kat?)
• Right, back to the game. Hey! There's a game on! The half time is very soon, which means I'll get to eat Antonio's pizza very soon.
• Illegal bat forward? I'll take it.
• Have I mentioned how much I hate Joe Buck?
• Chronicles of Narnia, haven't I seen this movie before?
• Charles Barkley == Joy C., Michael Jordan == Mandy S. (nee F.). Just so you know
• Oh Joy! Another Commercial Break!
• And we're back, despite a viewer written Dorito's commercial (which wasn't bad) and Justin Timberlake (whom I kind of like.)
• The boy is very frustrated by one-point perspective. Does anybody know where the "station point" should be?
• WHEEE first down, YES
• Where has Randy Moss been this game???
• Damn, gotta give props to the Giants for prepping so well. Well done.
• BREATHE: they are advertising NASCAR during the Super Bowl.
• You know, it is lame when I've seen commercials during the Super Bowl 2-3 weeks ago. Hence the title of this post.
• I could care LESS about modern Tom Petty.
• The t.v. was wheeled into the kitchen and we got to eat while watching the game, an unheard of event until New England went to the Super Bowl for the first time. In the weeks before the game I go shopping with my mother at Apex (or was it Zayre's? I'm pretty sure it's Apex) and she lets me pick out a Super Bowl XX Painter's Cap to wear for the big game (and to 4th grade). It is 1986 and we are eating Chinese food, I only remember the Lo-Mein. I watch as Refigerator Perry plows through the Patriots and they lose magnificently. I am not a Red Sox fan at the time and my family is not a baseball family, so this is crushing, in that first generation sort of way. The cap lives in the bottom of the laundry basket in the coat closet for years until my mother presumably weeds through the singleton mittens and scarves and gets rid of it. I wish I still had it.
• I suspect that Ryan Seacrest is a genius. A short, handsome genius.
• Oh heavens, here we go, Tom Petty.
• I kind of hate the field fans.
• Oh god, he's wearing an ascot-tie combo!!!
• Does Tom Petty have fused vertebra?
• The audio feed is supremely underwhelming for what could be a great song. Way to restrain it Fox News Sound Engineers! Gah.
• The thing is, since Janet, there is nothing, NOTHING interesting that could possibly happen this show. And that makes me give less than a crap about the performance, because I call up the songs on iTunes and be just as satisfied.
• Joe Buck, I hate you and your fake hair and your fake gray streak.
• I think this is the People's Pint talking, but I think N.E. ushered in the modern eara of football. When in 2001, as I clung to the only fellow New Englander in the room in Rochester, NY, the Pats were introduced as a TEAM, I knew something new was being created.
• Nice challenge N.E. Very nice challenge indeed; calling the Giants on the extra man on the field.
• Okay, It's past half-time and STILL NO PIZZA.
• I understand that desperate times call for desperate measures, but GO FOR THE DAMNED FIELD GOAL. AAAAAHHHH.
• Hey Fox, kiss my grits with you and your "wah wah wahhhhh" music at that break.
• EEEE Wall-e commercial! Adorable!
• Okay, to heck with this, time to warm up the oven.
• Have there been any completions to Moss this game? Mulroney seems to be the workhorse this game.
• eating.
• AAAAAAAAAH Moss!!!! You should have had that for 13-10 at least!!!
• Also: it takes forever for me to eat.
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!
• While, obviously, I really want the Pats to win, both teams have played really really hard this game, and can't really blame either for winning.
• I am sitting next to a fair-weather fan, and it's driving me batshit.
• Oh my GOD FOX, you have opera playing at the commercial break? Just.. I.... argh...
• "Did they advertise American Idol during the World Series?" "Probably not, well maybe they did, I'm sure they advertised whatever was on." Well said.
• OMG COME ON DEFENSE!!!!!!!!!!
• AAAAAAAAAAAH they're in. qow3ur9q83245ruiihgjriqo9485r7q2394875!
• Going to crawl into a HOLE NOW DEAR GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU SACK THAT MANNING ARGH!
• "Where's my bat?" Oh boy.
• All in all, the Giants played this game like they wanted it. I cannot say the same for the Pats.
• And there's the touchdown.
• ALRIGHT Brady and Moss.... Let's see some of this magic. Now would be a GREAT time to bring that out.
• And Brady is sacked. Great.
• Well, that is that. The Giants played a great game and deserve the win. Well done.

Credit Given When Due: Brooklyn

I am very young, I am not sure if my brother has been born yet, although perhaps he has been. We walk down the mean, gray city street so different from the sidewalk-less rural scene I am used to. My father instills in me a hyper-vigilance in the city that to this day I cannot shake. We walk the block to the only city playground I have ever seen where everything is asphalt and tar and not a lick of green grass is to be seen. He helps me balance on the see-saw, right in the middle and without holding his hand, as a prerequisite to riding the subway.