Absquatulate

My $1mil thought for the day

Dark chocolate M&Ms.

"We begin to rock... steady... steady rockin' all night long..."

Last night Pig and I caught up with the Wed. Night MacGregor's Crowd and to our delight Justin and Colleen announced their engagement. After the details of their Valentine's Day engagement events (suprise flight to NYC! Dinner in Times Square!) it made me a little nostalgic. Then I remember all that came afterwards, and I relished my role as the married friend smiling with happiness and pity for these poor bastards who don't know what's gonna hit them.

So congratulations! Best wishes (and plenty of Tullamore Dew) for the two of you!

Calling all Bartenders

Last night Pig and I went to Montage Grille for dinner. We had a cocktail beforehand and I ordered a Manhattan on the rocks. The bill came, and the Manhattan was $3.50 with a $0.75 extra charge for a "rocks pour".

What on EARTH should a "rocks pour" be more than a regular shaken and strained cocktail?

Thanks in advance.

If I Had Decided to Commit a Felony...

... this would be the day to do it.

When registering for wedding gifts I made it a point to register for new pans, because well, my old pans were getting old and were somewhat cheap, and Piggy had no pans whatsoever. So yearning for stainless steel and copper cores I registered for a mid-range set of Faberware pans. Lovely, shiny, new! I chose them because they had decent construction and features while still being in the pricerange of most of our guests. I also chose them because they had metal handles so that I could put them in the oven and not worry about melting plastic. And they looked better.

This has proven a wise choice since there have been times when items cooking on the stove needed to be finished in the oven or just isn't cooking fast enough on the stovetop. No problem! Just slide the whole thing into our midget sized apartment oven. No need to mess up another pan (which is a big deal when you don't have an automatic dishwasher.) Just preheat for 20 minutes, slide it in, voila! Dinner!

So that's exactly what I did last night when preparing roasted salmon with brown rice and steamed bok choy. I had pans going, burners on, sauces blended, everything set to be done at the same time so we may enjoy our meal while watching the lastest Simpson rerun. However the salmon was taking forever to cook in the pan, so I slid it into the 425F oven to finish while I started the bok choy and checked on the rice.

10 minutes later I am greeted to wonderfully roasted salmon. Moist, fragrant, and just finished. I pull the pan out and put it on the stove, tucking the potholder under my arm, and turn the burner on. I add the soy/lime sauce to the pan, it bubbles and fizzles in the most satisfyingly way. I grab the handle to shake the pan a little to get some of the sauce over the fish.

I didn't even hesitate; I grabbed the handle as one would shake the hand of an old and trusted business aquaintenance, which in hindsight is an accurate description of my relationship with my pans.

I quickly realize that the pot holder is still under my arm.

Thankfully most basic neuro-motor responses to pain travel the nerves about 100 meters per second and it didn't have to travel to my brain (that certainly would have slowed things down.) Yay for spinal cords.

Suprisingly I didn't shout, or yell, or even swear... I did jump up and down, much to the delight and horror of my cats. I then ran my hand under cold water for about 5 minutes, popped some ibuprofin, and graciously served dinner.

So if today were the day to commit a felony, it would be a good one as a good portion of each fingerprint is melted away. You can't track me coppers!!!

Mozilla/FireFox Extensions

Color me late, but I just came across a whole gaggle of Mozilla extensions. I haven't tried any out yet but if I do I'll post commentary here. If you're an IE user you're SOL until whenever Microsoft decides to release Longhorn (2005? 2006? who knows!) Next on my list of downloads is FireFox. Faster page rendering? Even more modules? Smaller size? Giddy Up.

But...

... Shouldn't everyplace be a rape free zone?

Let me clarify that it is the desgination of someplace as 'rape free' that struck me as absurd (are there places that are rape tolerant?) I applaud the fraternities for taking the training and providing save haven for students who might be threatened. It's the label that is strange.

I can't, can you?

Has anybody been able to get to MetaFilter, Megnut, or A.Wholelottanothing.org lately? The last several days I haven't been able to call up the server or ping to it. Just wondering if anybody knew what was up with Matt's machine.

By George, I've Got It!

I've figured out couture fashion: Take ugly things and put them together, preferably in absurd ways.

1. Discover fashion secrets
2. ???
3. Profit!!!!!!

Tales from the Cube Farm

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT YOUR BACK PAIN, HOW THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT IS FULL IF IDIOTS, WHAT DRUGS YOU ARE TAKING, AND HOW PAINFUL IT IS!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!! Five days is ENOUGH. Telling the story to every person on the phone is GETTING ANNOYING FOR THOSE OF US WHO SIT AROUND YOU SHUT UP!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled absquatulate.

Again.

I'm starting to wish I had a Mac. If only they were cheaper.

Dyslexia Primer

This article on CNN regarding dyslexia is very informative and just the tip of the iceberg in what I assume is quite advanced research into the disability. But what really touched me was the following quote at the end of the article:

[upon seeing a MRI image of his own brain] "That's my brain?" marvels Patrick, staring at images from the scanner as researchers show him his own cortex. "Wow!"

I hope Patrick can find ways to overcome his dyslexia and maybe, just maybe, consider studying similar areas when he gets older. It is his reaction that fill me with happiness; someone who sees just how (for lack of a better term) COOL stuff like this can be. I'll be smiling for the rest of the day.

Interactive Psychology Experiments? Cool.

The BBC has put together a pretty neat site based on a series they produce about the human body. While some of the sections (like this "Spot the Fake Smile" test, or this interactive brain) of it is super cool, some experiments shouldn't be done while eating lunch. *blech*

Eye Opening Reading

Every since Dooce announced a while ago that she was pregnant I have been reading her blog with a mixture of facination, wonder and horror. Well, okay, anybody who's been a regular reader of Dooce will agree that's par for the course regardless of the subject matter, but that's really only because she exaggerates like a motherfucker, is incredibly funny in doing it, and is also brutally honest, all three of which make for compelling reading.

Add to that mix the experience of being pregnant and giving birth, two events I have yet to partake in, and her blog entries take on a whole new life. From details about morning sickness to descriptions of how they break your water (a HOOK!?) it's been a refreshingly open and personal account of pregnancy. I've only known a few people close to me who've been pregnant and even then details really weren't that forthcoming because well, we weren't *those* kinds of friends. That is, we never held each other's hair while getting sick after a kegger, or sat on each others' floors crying over our latest breakup, so you know, there's a level of intimacy that just wansn't there. And that's okay. But it means that my knowledge of pregnancy and birth is limited to what the medical (and media) establishment has told me, and let's be honest here: they provide cold hard facts, not first hand sing-it-to-the-heavens testimony.

And so Dooce gives me one more reason to love the internet. And I'm sure, another reason for my husband to rue the day I found it.

Me: "Honey read this! Did you KNOW they did things like this to you!?"
Him: "You really need to stop reading that."

Congrats Dooce and Blurbomat!

A big phat congratulations to Dooce and Blurbomat on the arrival of their precious Frog Babby!

Foaming spittle, first thing in the morning!

I've been a long time reader of Lileks. While I do not usually agree with his politics I respect him as a writer and he can usually put forth a good argument. He cloaks his lastest post as a "Screed" but, sorry, screw that. If you post it, even if you say, "Well, I was just VENTING..." you still look like a raving loony for not having the control to type it all out, and then walk away from the [upload] button.

And so today I heartily recommend Lileks fans to don some foul weather gear because the spittle is bound to get ya. And if it's in the eye, I'm sure Lileks would be all the happier. Ya damned Liberal Hippie!

New tagline for Absquatulate

I crease yo' head wit' a three-hole punch.

- Herbert K.

Beware of the Designer's Revenge!

For all my friends who've done design work for idiotic clients: Here's your chance for revenge.

Wegmans finally comes through!

I [heart] Wegmans; truly I do! When you're looking for that special cut of meat or fantastic produce (or truffles at $400/lb.) Wegmans is the place to go. Their employees are genuinely NICE (which is such a rarity these days), knowledgable (ask any diary worker where the canned corn is, and they'll walk you right to it), courteous (any time there's been a traffic jam in the aisles, the Wegmans employees are always the first to allow you to pass. What a concept!) and professional. Their prices are generally higher, but for the convenience and quality I'm usually willing to pay for it.

Despite the great shopping experience one area I felt they always fell a little short in are their recipes. I've tried several and every one was a disappointment: too salty or not salty enough, too many prepared food items (canned gravy, frozen veggies), not enough seasoning, flavors too simple, &tc. So I usually view any of their featured recpies in their quarterly Menu Magazine with some skepticism. But last night I was looking for something new and wouldn't you know it, that Menu Magazine was staring me in the face and I said, "Well, a flip through can't hurt. Maybe I'll find some inspiration." Two minutes later and I'd found a complete meal that not only looked good but I also happened to have the ingredients on hand.

35 minutes later and Piggy and I were enjoying a plate full of Chicken Breasts with Apple Maple Gravy on top a bed of roasted sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts. I followed the directions exactly (as a rule, I always try a recipe as written once before I make modifications) and while the chicken breasts took a little longer to cook than indicated (I blame my crappy stove) it was simple and easy!

We hardly ever use gravy so I made some up with a bit of leftover chicken stock, some pan-searing flour pre-mixed with a little warm stock, a sprinkling of fresh cracked pepper and herbes de Provence. Also I generally don't buy flavored oils but I did happen to have some garlic flavored olive oil on hand (thank you Kev and Melissa!) So I figured basting oil was that plus the aforementioned herbs. You can say that's the core of my cooking ethos: Don't be afraid to make it up as you go along! And I encourage you to do the same.

Using IE? Good luck.

As if anybody needed another reason to NOT use IE, the government (of all places!) issued this statement regarding the security of Internet Explorer.

I hear there are some other nice little browsers out there that won't get you infected with virii.

New things online!

If you've got a sec, spare a kind thought for the good folks at the Blurbo-doocery. They're hopefully in the process of bringing forth another wise-crackin' Armstrong into the world so ask God to give them a shoutout, preferably in the form of bourbon, limes, and cigars.

Hey, Mr. FCC, while your at it...

FCC Chairman Michael Powell said that the FCC will be investigating the, um, body modification promo that inadvertantly aired during the half time show during the SuperBowl. The good chairman says, and I quote:

"Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration," FCC Chairman Michael Powell said in a statement. "Instead, that celebration was tainted by a classless, crass and deplorable stunt. Our nation's children, parents and citizens deserve better.

Hear hear! I couldn't agree more, so while you're busy investigating Ms. Jackson's breast, would you mind investigating the classless, crass and deplorable commercials too? Particularly the ad of the referee getting yelled at by his wife, and the horse/fart/candle ad. Thank you!

*Whew*

I think I speak for every Patriots fan out there with the title of this post. There is no more bringing up the "Tuck Rule". No more questions. This is, indeed, a great team. And Carolina gave them an amazing run for their money. Well played, gents, and here's to next year!