Girls' Night Out

I knew I was forgetting some notable quotes from last night:

• That's kind of an odd thing to say at the dinner table that your father is a psychopath
• I think if my parents had to say which one of us was their favorite, they'd say none of us.
• My parents don't have time for me anymore. They're out all the time.
• I don't think now is probably the right time to talk about my birth control methods.
  Oh, I think it is
• My cake is like really good sex, but your cake is like the afterglow, and sometimes - that's even better.
• Now that's good pork. but what do i know, I've never had bad pork.
• Oooh! Ohhh! Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
  Going to home depot?
  Nooo! jeez........... I did that yesterday.