Tulips, Menders of Hearts

Thank you patient listeners. Due to some techincal difficulties I haven't been around. Finally, after much pleading with the local IT guys, I'm back.

Here's the lightning round update:

1. My tulips did come up, only to be cut down a few days later. Since I live a few houses away from a bar, my assumption is that some drunk college FratBoy cut them in the vague hangover induced notion that his Soror Girl will forgive him for oggling the waitress and the cute redhead after Soror Girl asked if CuteRedhead was better looking than she is. Of course he said, "Yeah, that red head is hot!" at which point SororGirl stormed out, screaming right outside my window that he is a pig and that she never wants to see him again. Enter my Tulips, Healer of BoneHead Moves Induced by Alcohol.
2. I have found a means of gainful employment as, well, essentially I'm the webmaster for a company. Thanks for all who helped! I now live in a Dilbert cartoon. Thankfully, it's not Kodak but it's still corporate compared to whence I came.
3. Basil not doing as well as I thought they would be. Most likely due to old soil. Pumping plants with plant food seems to do the trick, will observe if green basil starts sprouting from my fingers after eating home made pesto. Stay tuned for updates.
4. Wedding is coming up a little faster than I had expected. Getting nervous. In a good way, of course. There seems to be a huge responsibility behind registering. You're not just registering, you're a) telling people what kind of crap you like to have in your house. b) opening up your personal preferences to public scrutiny. I mean, how many times will the phrase "Ugh, that pattern is UGLY," be uttered in the next four months? and c) these things are FOREVER. Well, not really. Plates will chip, bedding will become threadbare. But there's something about getting presents for an event that screams "FOREVER" that makes it much more stressful.
5. MyAscot, Fine Purveyor of all things Pretentious, is also new. Enjoy.